The Spirit of Christmas - A Few Days Late

Perhaps it was the fact that I got my job just a few days before Christmas.  Perhaps it's because Thanksgiving was a smaller affair this year, so the pre-family gathering didn't happen like it usually does.  Perhaps its because we had Thanksgiving a week later this year.  Perhaps it was just a funk year, but Christmas didn't feel like Christmas for me - until now.  Tonight, after the extended family had gone home, a brief nap, and some extra munchies, the spirit and JOY of Christmas hit as I looked around the house and saw all the decorations and the tree.  The living room was picked up, the table cleared off, my Step-Dad was intensely watching football, and I just smiled and felt that little flurry of Christmas joy that had eluded me all season.  

I'm so thankful for my family.  For the love and support they have always given and most especially the love and support of the past year.  Today as I stood back and looked at the assembled Robinson family, I caught myself thinking, "This is my Clan, my Tribe."  We may not all have been there, and that's OK, those who could not make it were here in spirit with me and they are part of the Tribe.  And Family - family is not always blood either.  Friends, those I have 'adopted', and those my parents have 'adopted' are my family as well, and tonight, I give thanks and much love to them as well... 

Christmas Spirit is Traditions, Family, & Love - in all the varied expressions that exist - foods, decorations, games, sayings, all of this and more.  Tonight, I was blessed to touch upon that once more :)

Community

It's been awhile since I have written.  It's not for lack of wanting, or even for topics to discuss, but as a cousin once said of her own blog, sometimes there is too much feeling, too much to express through words.  Especially those that are made public.

Community
noun, plural com·mu·ni·ties.

1. a social group of any size whose members reside in a specific locality, share government, and often have a common cultural and historical heritage.

2. a locality inhabited by such a group.

3. a social, religious, occupational, or other group sharing common characteristics or interests and perceived or perceiving itself as distinct in some respect from the larger society within which it exists (usually preceded by the  ): the business community; the community of scholars.

4. a group of associated nations sharing common interests or a common heritage: the community of Western Europe.

5. Ecclesiastical . a group of men or women leading a common life according to a rule.

It's been on my mind a lot recently.  For as long as a month or more.  I  keep coming back to this  concept, this idea.  What is community?  What is MY definition of community?  Does it need to be people always within easy proximity to me?  Does the quality and/or quantity of the relationship make a difference, to the number of people in proximity?  

Is this desire to move 'home', to Maine, a desire for the community of family present?  Or is it a fleeing from change, from the transition I am still going through?  Because, when I return to my adult life, the one I have made outside of Maine, I realize I DO have a community...

It may not always be close by or readily available according to my perception and need.  It may not always be the intimate bond I share with some of my old gold friends.  And it's not blood family.  But the community I have, the community I am growing, is unique and so in-tune with who I am.  As I have grown, and traveled, so too have I amassed an incredible web of friends, colleagues, and my own 'adopted' family.  

Friends whom I can call or text at any time, and heaven forbid I don't answer when they reply minutes, hours, or the next day - because they WILL respond to ensure I'm OK.  Thank you, by the way, to all of you on my SOS list ;)  you know who you are. 

Friends I have made in the past few years, roommates, friends of friends  slowly filling out my new 'crew.'  Colleagues, staff, managers who have become friends, and who have my best interest at heart and randomly check-in to see what is new.

Friends from college, high school, grade school, who still chat and catch up.  And the friends, those few crazy friends from the waaaaay back days of gaming, some whom I've met, and some whom I have not, and yet the bond we share is still there and just a message away.  

And the new people I am meeting, through classes, workshops, and common interests.  Spirituality, TaeKwon Do, Raw Food, Meetup.com. 

Community.  Connections.  Like all things in life, you get what you put in to it.  If I were to move back to Maine, I would miss the connections I have made here.  I have made these same connections elsewhere, Illinois, Philadelphia, ... SNHU, BHS ... and I hope I will have the chance to make them again, and again, and again.  

I guess, what I'm trying to say, is it has taken me awhile to see that I DO have a community here.  It may not fit the description and definition I was previously using in my mind.  It did not fit my expectation - but I DO have one.  I have to remember to USE it, to reach out and touch someone - LOL  To use my voice, my words. 

Who is your community?  How do you connect with others when you are feeling all alone and adrift?

Inspiration & Fodder for Tonight's Post

 

Progress

Before I go for the night:  A note on Progress

I AM healing.  In my own way.  I re-read my Blog and I can see the healing steps in each of my entries.  Moments captured that give an insight to the progress I build upon each day.  

I have a new resume!  I am taking classes at the Lowell Career Center.  I am utilizing their FREE resources to understand the job market and to learn about any new possibilities for my next job or career.  

My knee pain is virtually gone (for the moment!) and my back tingling is limited and under much better control.  I have figured out that my futon needs to go, so I have also been hunting for new SUPPORTIVE furniture.  I have Physical Therapy 2-3 times a week to ensure I will be OK in the future. 

I am starting to walk each day again, and I can feel myself getting stronger.  

I have been on a couple interviews and those give me confidence that I will re-join the workforce again, when the time and job are right.  These interviews have also helped clarify what I do and don't want in a job.

I have started planning the TKD December Awards Banquet with my friend Vicki.  It's great to be the meeting room customer for a change ;) 

I'm not completely decided on my continuation of TKD just yet.  There are many pros and cons to be weighed out.  For now - I am suspending my membership for a couple months to heal my knee, and strengthen it and my back.  

I have some goals each and every day, week, month. I am waking up early again, and getting out of the house.  I am seeing friends - my social calendar is busier than it has been in a long time!  I am actually maintaining active friendships.  

And I need to recognize my own progress.  It does not have to match any one else's.  It is mine, and I own it with Pride.  I HAVE done a lot.  Others may not see it, it may not be tangible - but in my world - my knowledge and understanding and work are HUGE.  I appreciate the steps I have been able to take.  The PROGRESS I have made. 

Thought for the Night:

"Beautiful Pictures are developed from negatives in a dark room ... 
So if you see darkness in your life, be assured that a beautiful picture is being prepared."