Wednesday, July 10, 2013

I Have Enough

A practice in gratitude and self compassion.

I have enough money in my account - Thank you Lord.
I have enough food in my freezer & pantry - Thank you Lord.
I have enough clothes in my closet - Thank you Lord.
I have enough support with in my friends - Thank you Lord.
I have enough love from my family - Thank you Lord.
I have enough STUFF in my house - Thank you Lord.
I have compassion for others, and am learning compassion for myself - Thank you Lord.

I have enough time - to do the work you set out for me - Help me understand and embrace that Lord - you have provided me enough, enough of everything, help me embrace and understand this last bit  ... because it seems like a clock is ticking, and yet is stuck at the same time.  A paradoxical Limbo that I cannot quit explain or escape from.

I have enough - enough supplies to last me a month or two - or more depending on the item/product.  I have enough.  I do not need more - unless more is friends, happiness, joyful and peaceful moments.  And that is a want, not a need.  I have.  Yes, oh yes that is the mantra running through my mind, and yet - it seems to slip and slither and wiggle away.  It's a thought, a chant, that I am trying to embrace.  In a world that focuses on more, more, more, I want to sit and be calm; embracing & understanding what I have.  To fully enjoy and know that I have enough.  Enough so much that I could/can give away some, and not feel depleted or wanting.

I have, so I can give.  I have, so I can provide.  Looking around my house, I wonder what I truly need.  Looking around at society and friends, and family - How do we each live our lives - How can I live better, more simply?  What am I willing and able to part with?  And I wonder where is this urging, this wondering coming from.  A change in my priorities, in my life style for certain...

I have enough.  Thank you Father for putting this in my mind, in my heart.  For reminding me that I have all that I need and that I will continually be provided for, that my needs will be met.  Not always in the ways I think, but in the ways that best serve me and those around me. 

And when I start to relax that grip on my mind, my future, I feel a sense of calm acceptance.  I will find what my heart seeks, what I send up in prayer & meditation.  The right job will come along. 

I have faith. 




Taurus - I have.  Power of manifestation.  It's a bit ironic when it slaps you in the face years later.

Monday, July 1, 2013

Community

It's been awhile since I have written.  It's not for lack of wanting, or even for topics to discuss, but as a cousin once said of her own blog, sometimes there is too much feeling, too much to express through words.  Especially those that are made public.

Community
noun, plural com·mu·ni·ties.
1. a social group of any size whose members reside in a specific locality, share government, and often have a common cultural and historical heritage.
2. a locality inhabited by such a group.
3. a social, religious, occupational, or other group sharing common characteristics or interests and perceived or perceiving itself as distinct in some respect from the larger society within which it exists (usually preceded by the  ): the business community; the community of scholars.
4. a group of associated nations sharing common interests or a common heritage: the community of Western Europe.
5. Ecclesiastical . a group of men or women leading a common life according to a rule.


It's been on my mind a lot recently.  For as long as a month or more.  I  keep coming back to this  concept, this idea.  What is community?  What is MY definition of community?  Does it need to be people always within easy proximity to me?  Does the quality and/or quantity of the relationship make a difference, to the number of people in proximity?  
Is this desire to move 'home', to Maine, a desire for the community of family present?  Or is it a fleeing from change, from the transition I am still going through?  Because, when I return to my adult life, the one I have made outside of Maine, I realize I DO have a community...

It may not always be close by or readily available according to my perception and need.  It may not always be the intimate bond I share with some of my old gold friends.  And it's not blood family.  But the community I have, the community I am growing, is unique and so in-tune with who I am.  As I have grown, and traveled, so too have I amassed an incredible web of friends, colleagues, and my own 'adopted' family.  

Friends whom I can call or text at any time, and heaven forbid I don't answer when they reply minutes, hours, or the next day - because they WILL respond to ensure I'm OK.  Thank you, by the way, to all of you on my SOS list ;)  you know who you are. 

Friends I have made in the past few years, roommates, friends of friends  slowly filling out my new 'crew.'  Colleagues, staff, managers who have become friends, and who have my best interest at heart and randomly check-in to see what is new.

Friends from college, high school, grade school, who still chat and catch up.  And the friends, those few crazy friends from the waaaaay back days of gaming, some whom I've met, and some whom I have not, and yet the bond we share is still there and just a message away.  

And the new people I am meeting, through classes, workshops, and common interests.  Spirituality, TaeKwon Do, Raw Food, Meetup.com. 

Community.  Connections.  Like all things in life, you get what you put in to it.  If I were to move back to Maine, I would miss the connections I have made here.  I have made these same connections elsewhere, Illinois, Philadelphia, ... SNHU, BHS ... and I hope I will have the chance to make them again, and again, and again.  

I guess, what I'm trying to say, is it has taken me awhile to see that I DO have a community here.  It may not fit the description and definition I was previously using in my mind.  It did not fit my expectation - but I DO have one.  I have to remember to USE it, to reach out and touch someone - LOL  To use my voice, my words. 

Who is your community?  How do you connect with others when you are feeling all alone and adrift?